Meeting your heroes

An amazing day at the Bubble365 conference where I met my hero Robert X. Cringely. This is the guy who first predicted the Google Cube – you know, that TiVo/VoiP/iTunes replacement in a neat epoxy box that plugs into all your existing equipment and Google sends through the post for free… They don’t have those where you are yet?

I realized that he is better than me in every way and has a more expensive camera and sometimes shoots videos that people watch almost all the way through.

Thanks to Edimax for sponsoring my innovative trip to take some photos of trains, which had a peak reach of over 20 people! They even gave me some free CD-Rs which they have exclusively told me are better than everyone else’s! Buy them!

Only bloggers vote

I think we can all agree that getting the most blog links is going to determine who wins the next election. I mean, I followed the “white guy” candidate around for almost two days, before eventually some secret service guys asked me to leave. You can see the full completely unedited 40-hour video via my employer BubbleTalk – although I somehow had the “fun solarise” effect turned on for the first couple of hours of footage.

Anyway, that was the making of this Edwards guy, who I don’t think anyone had heard of before I discovered him.

That’s why it makes me so mad that Hillary Clinton doesn’t seem to be checking her Technorati profile and joining the growing online conversation about her panties on blogs like my friend Estan Esterhazy’s “XBox and Stuff”.

Obama went with some other company to do his podcast and videos, the stupid asshole. And none of it’s in HD! I guess he’s lost my vote.

Racism is everywhere

You know what really pisses me off? It looks like Barack Obama is going to throw his hat into the ring. He’s in the running to become our first Muslim president, if I understand it correctly.

When I talk to people about it I do a clever little test – I throw in a racist remark to see if they’re racist. Sometimes I say that it’s too bad there’s still so much racism in the USA. Sometimes I just say that he looks a little dusky to be a good candidate.

It’s interesting to see people’s reactions. Not once has anyone directly called me on my racism. Oh sure, they’ll look a bit uncomfortable and change the subject, or call me a fat-faced dilletante idiot, but I get that all the time. Sometimes they’ll even agree that racism still exists in this country! Acknowledging the possibility of other people’s racism – what I call “stealth racism” or “racism by anonymizing proxy”- is the worse kind of racism of all.

I’ve done this test on almost ten of my top blog-chums – and these are the people who are going to decide the next election! I hear that even the black guy has done a website for his campaign.

I’m sick of people not realising how racist I am. How about you?

So tired

I’m just about done covering CES. Sorry about the polonium thing, but you try working 22 hour days getting exclusive videos with top technology opinion makers and see how it affects your ability to tell fantasy from reality.

I have lots of videos of my lovely blogfriends – I think I remembered to take the lens cap off for most of them this time. I will upload them sometime next week – my favourite is a 5-hour interview with the CEO of my sponsor, Gunjian Whalebone & Electric Company, where we tackle a range of topics including his firm’s new range of iPod cases, golf, whisky and how our kids are doing. Sure beats relying on the outmoded MSM for news, doesn’t it?

Loren Feldman gave me some crap about my videos being “long and boring”, but now we are friends so I guess he realised he was mistaken.

Also, what’s up with Apple not giving me a couple of days of Steve Jobs’ time to do an indepth vodiocast? Not talking to bloggers is just another form of racism. I have bought several Macs and I don’t think anyone can question my insight into the iPhone (apart from the polonium thing, and I already said I was tired) . Some guy who works for the old, dead media with their outmoded “fact-checking” got the scoop. Go figure.

Unprecedented blogging!

Amazing! Cisco has followed up its press release saying that it’s going to sue Apple for trademark infringement with a blog posting saying that it’s going to sue Apple for trademark infringement.

I’ve never seen blogging like it.

This changes everything.

Thanks to Dave Tariff for tipping me off to this neglected story. I’m blogging him while he’s looking over my shoulder and resting his Tablet PC on my back to blog me. It’s fun to blog with all my friends. Blog me. Blogs! Blog! Blog!

Ezekiel talks to Ronald Hovsepian

That’s right, only BubbleSpeech can get access to key industry figures like the CEO of Novell.

Watch Ezekiel (and some evil MSM journalists) get the low-down on the future of NetWare. Believe me, cooperative multitasking is going to be very big in 2007!

This is just the highlights – the full video is 49:43 long and I’ll put it up shortly. You can’t really make out what anyone’s saying but I’m very excited!!!

The iPhone – dead on arrival!!!11

Steve Bukowski lists seven reasons why the iPhone just isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Hey Steve, you forgot some!!! (just kidding).

1) No keyboard. A lot of the guys (and gals!!) here in the BlogKennel are saying that kids today love trendy devices sporting the “full QWERTY”, like the T-Mobile Sidekick and HTC’s cool gadgets. Apple forgot to put a keyboard on the iPhone, which means you can’t type in any messages – and how are you going to get your phone numbers into it? Apple you idiots!!

b) Lacks Xbox Live Achievements ticker. This is the killer app that is going to propel smartphones into the mainstream. I got the “Stompin’ Dilly” badge on Gears of War last night!! Apple is fifteen to twenty years behind Microsoft here.

It uses Apple’s proprietary GSM standard, which the French all hate. Try using one of these in public in France and passers-by will literally piss all over you. You’re dead to me, Jobs!!

;( Apparently, right, the battery only lasts fifteen days, and it’s made of polonium, and when it’s used up you have to throw the phone away and buy another one. I’m not sure about this but some Mac journalists who don’t have web access told me and I’m too busy to check. Polonium sucks ass.

More later. Some voices in my head are telling me that if you are a regular angler and need compatibility with a fish-detecting sonar module, you are going to be much better off with a Treo or Clié. Save your money.